Department of Corrections

Our April Fool! post was wrong in its entirety and we'd like to apologize to the community for messing this up. You may recall that we spun a fantastic tale about Bridget Healy, that ol' Carpetbagger, being nominated to the Claremont Chamber of Commerce Board of Directors, all done in the most light-hearted and whimsical way to give our readership a little April Fool cheer. We fabricated quotes. We made things up out of whole cloth. We went over the top

Well, it turns out that wasn't such a tall tale after all. Arrives now in the mail the April 2009 number of the Chamber newsletter, Business News, and right there on the front page is the notice of "Nominating Committees [sic] Recommendations for Board Members". Down towards the bottom of the first column is the following:

At the meeting in February the Board voted to increase its size to 20 members. The nominating committee suggested:

Ira Jackson, Drucker School of Business Management for a 3 year term expiring in 2012

Jeremy Cooper, Pay-Pro Services for a 2 year term expiring in 2011

Bridget Healy, Consultant for a 1 year term expiring in 2010

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We see that Bridget Healy has been listed as an "Associate Member" of the Chamber so her "consulting" business must be a new one. Guess she needs a little more than her $150K plus per year city pension to scrape by. (See this post, midway down, under "Doing the Pension Math")

APRIL FOOL!

All "facts" asserted here are lies used only for comedic effect

Remember, it's April Fool

Bridget Healy Back from the Dead:
Nominated to Chamber of Commerce Board

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Failed City Council candidate Bridget Healy, who really hasn't lived in Claremont for four years, and who doesn't own or operate a business in town, has been nominated to the Board of the Claremont Chamber of Commerce. "Why not?" quipped Chamber president Barbara Jefferson, a middle manager at the Claremont University Consortium, "Heckfire, I'm not a business person, and David Cash, CUSD superintendent, certainly isn't. Nor is Ann Joslin of the Botanic Garden. Sometimes these real business people get kooky ideas like a Transient Occupancy Tax isn't for them, or maybe the crazy thought that the Village shouldn't have a 'Business Improvement District'. That's why we need Bridget: to keep these folks out of the leadership positions and toeing the Claremont Chamber Party Line."

"Plus, we've got to give her something to do in town to burnish her resume for the next City Council election."

"Of course, we had to pack the board to make a place for her, so we are adding three new positions. Another guy from the Colleges, another non-retailer, and Bridget."

Said Maureen Aldridge, Chamber CEO, "It's quite like Parliament: The House of Lords, with Bridget's elevation, and the House of Commons, with the vulgar cash-register commoners. The cream will rise to the top, you know."

Word is, Bridget's first task is to "Hammer" through either the Transient Occupancy Tax or Bid'ness Improvment District, whichever incoming Chair and Former Mayor Paul Held decides he wants to go for.

* * * * *

These are just fantastic speculations and obvious fabrications motivated by a frenetic need to construct a quasi-humorous April Fool post on-deadline. We made all of this up. Nothing here has any bearing on reality. None at all. Really.

No, we mean it.