The Green Monster

click image to enlarge

It was first seen by Bill Rook who wrote a letter about it a few weeks ago in the Courier. He feared everything in Claremont would soon be green or plastic or both. Few believed him.

Then David Allen saw it and talked about it in the Bulletin. Someone reading a newspaper on a public bench saw it: "It doesn't look like a miniature golf course. It's at least one step ahead of that."

It was created by City Manager Jeff Parker. It's the

Astroturf Monster
of Harvard Avenue...

...And it will take over your city.

No water required, so it's more sustainable. Throw away your mower. You can use your household vacuum cleaner or a damp cloth. Astroturf: better living through chemistry.

Think of the possibilities. Think outside the planter. The trees on College Avenue can be replaced with fake plastic "trees" designed for structural stability. No more dropped branches.

And street trees: no more liability for cracked sidewalks or driveways and sewer damage. They will always be green.

All those pesky leaf-blowers will be a thing of the past. And there will be no need for the now-unenforced but still-on-the-books City gas leaf-blower ban.

A few possible downsides, however. Though it may be kinda sustainable, it's not too renewable. And it is Expen$ive. They've got a park full of the stuff in Fontana, and they've got rules rules rules. Dogs are so obviously prohibited--by implication--that the rules don't even address them.

Perfect for Claremont, though. All twee and precious and "one step ahead of a miniature golf course..."

* * *

On the subject of nature, we note the big Wilderness Park event today, Sunday, November 18, 2007 (no, it's not another trail ride by Supervisor Antonovich).

Come and help the City and the Claremont Wildlands Conservancy celebrate and commemorate the addition of Johnson's Pasture to the Wilderness Park, as well as the collaborative efforts of the Claremont community.

This event is cosponsored by the City of Claremont and the Claremont Wildlands Conservancy, and will include fun-filled activities for the whole family.

Date: Sunday, November 18, 2007
Time: 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Location: Wilderness Park entrance, at the top of Mills Avenue
Ceremony: Begins at 11:30 a.m.

*The date noted in the city letter (11/17/07) was in error [how could they have gotten it so wrong?].

Our mole in the Community Services Department gave us a preview of the plan for the Wilderness Park. It will be covered with Astroturf and renamed the Claremont Astroturf Park.


(we hate to lord our natural Claremont superiority over the po' folks at the Foothill Cities Blog, but Publius, Centinel, and TheRealZajac, ought to clean up their yards, their cities, and their website. A fine stretch of Turf indeed. Please.)