Turf Wars

Last week we covered the anticipated war at Wheeler Park (Vista School) between the Junior All-American Football and the Claremont Stars soccer club. Like most gang rumbles, this one was about turf. Specifically, the practice turf at Vista where the teams were to practice. The Claremont Stars had "historical rights", but the Junior All-American Football league had juice on the Sports Committee which allocates fields. Thus, as we hear it, the Stars lost a day to the young gridiron guys.

We hadn't heard the outcome. Our correspondent must have been seriously injured in the melee because all attempts to contact him were unsuccessful. However, we received this special report from war correspondent Mary Noonan who had been in the thick of the action:



From the way she describes it, the Stars really kicked some booty, and besides that trash-talked the 13-and-under Peewees, Elfs [sic], Midgets, Shrimps, Teeny-tinies, Gremlins, Leprechauns, Nanos, Small-worlders, Hobbits, Tinkerbells, Lollipops, and Dwarves (various age groups of the JAAF).

Here is the victorious generalissimo, John Hall, President of the Claremont Stars, walking off the field after his glorious victory. He didn't even have to loosen his tie. Way to go against those 13-and-unders!

Sumpin' Nasty Goin' Down on Thursday

Just when we thought we would swear off--forever--anything having to do with youth sports in Claremont, we heard about The Battle For Vista Field. As we hear it, the first skirmish was fought last Thursday when the Claremont Stars lost 2 practice days at Vista to Junior All American Football. But the real battle is expected this Thursday, September 18th, when the Stars bring reinforcements. Forces are already massing, one side led by Field Marshall Napoleon Pedroza. Junior All American Football and Cheer versus The Claremont Stars, Club Soccer. The City Councilors versus the Gigolo Furriners. The Home Team versus the Visitors.

It's the Battle of the Century, Ladies and Gentlemen.

As we were returning to LAX from our long weekend in Paris, aboard our luxury jet Insider One, we were able to snap a picture of the forces maneuvering for position at Vista Park.


We don't know if this will be a fair fight, or if the fix is in. Will "Historical Rights" to practice at Vista Park win out over "The City Staff Playing Favorites"? Is the Sports Committee on the take? Will there be retaliation?

Ya know, when we think of it, youth sports in Claremont is pretty good training for real life after all.