It may be a bit late, but the Insider has decided to throw our hat in the ring for a seat on Claremont City Council. It finally occurred to us: We know more than Larry Schroeder, are more truthful than Bridget Healy, and we're meaner than Corey Calaycay. We are the perfect candidate for these challenging times.
The trouble is, it's kind of late, so we've had to steal our material from the other campaigns. Our strategy is to totally co-opt the strategies of our opponents. If Schroeder has few names, we have fewer. If Healy can take credit for everything that happened in town, so can we. If Calaycay can outspend his opponents, we can outspend him. (n.b. Mrs. Buzz put the kibosh on that one.)
Here's our campaign statement:
Fiscal Responsibility. Or not. New police station somewhere, sometime, maybe. These are challenging times. Pensions must be protected. We are a proven leader. Control our water. We won't repeat the blunders of the past; we will commit new blunders! We were here when everything good happened and were out of town when the bad stuff went down. Significant contributions. Protect the pensions of former City staffers. Together, we can ________ (fill in the blank).
We are supported by Buzz Hendershot, Charon Ivorytower, the Queen, the League of Women, the entire Buzz family (Barbara, Jennifer, Joe, Joey, Jonathan, LeAnn, Michael, Otis, Patrick, Susan, Andrew, Katie, and Ryan) and former mayor Sam Yorty.
In conclusion, time is short, don't waste your vote. Vote early and often. Yes we can!
Claremont Buzz (Claremont Insider)
p.s. protect those pensions.
"The Only Candidate
with 'Claremont'
Right in His Name!"
with 'Claremont'
Right in His Name!"
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